Can I take a Selfie?

​My biggest frustration with India thus far is having people come up to me and ask if they can take a selfie. All of these encounters have happened on the beaches of Goa. I’m in my swimsuit, minding my own business on my towel when a group of (always) guys approach with their phones. They do not fake a friendship and ask my name or take any time to get to know me. They immediately ask to take a selfie with me, assuming I’ll say yes.

I shock them with an aggressive, “no,” and a glare. They usually ask, “why not?” or repeat the question, “please just one selfie.” If they ask why then boy do they unleash my wrath. I tell them I’m a human being just like them, not an animal in a zoo. I explain that I’m a female alone on the beach and it is inappropriate to approach a half clothed stranger and ask to take a picture. In response I’ve gotten smiles and then the repeated question for, “just one picture.” At this point I’m livid and I raise my voice and tell them to leave me alone.

In Vietnam I remember locals taking pictures of my sister and me while we were on a ferry. It wasn’t so alarming because I was with somebody and we could joke about it together. It seems more threatening when a lone female is approached, in a swimming suit at that! In Africa I didn’t have to deal with this, though that is probably because smart phones were not such a common thing. I’d prefer for the children to run out of their house calling, “mzungu” and pointing at me, then for a man to take a picture of me. It makes me feel less than human. Like I am a spectacle, or a joke to them.

In one day eleven different groups of men came up to me and asked for a selfie. This isn’t some random occurrence, this is a fad! What are they doing with these pictures? Are they going home and masterbating to them? Is there a competition among the locals to see who can acquire the most selfies with white women. Whatever the reason is, it is clearly a game amongst them and I’m at the receiving end of the joke.

There comes a time when we need to ask ourselves when it is appropriate to take a picture of anybody other than yourself. While in Africa I longed for an artistic picture of an African woman balancing something on her head while carrying a baby around her back. The image was a symbol of strength and beauty to me. So different than Western culture, I marveled at it. However, I did not want to offend a local and pull out my camera as if they were a creature one would see on safari. It is objectifying to have somebody shoot a picture of you while you’re merely going about your day to day activities. I waited to one day make an African friend and then ask her if I could take the picture.

What kind of a society have we turned into? We are so impersonal with one another yet willing to capture a stranger eternally inside of a digital image? People film fights and violent acts instead of standing up and helping. Please be aware of these things and how it makes other people feel.

What countries have you guys gone to where you were bombarded with pictures? What do you think are the rules for taking a picture of a stranger? A) Never, only take pictures of friends. B) It is okay if you ask. C) It is okay if you ask but don’t approach a half clothed girl alone on the beach because it is just creepy. D) It is okay as long as they don’t notice you taking it. Leave your comments down below!